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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26029411">If you can't answer can i ask anyway</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PearlBringerOfChaos/pseuds/PearlBringerOfChaos'>PearlBringerOfChaos</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Steven Universe (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bad Spelling &amp; Grammar, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, I Tried, I'm Bad At Tagging, Past Pearl/Rose Quartz (Steven Universe), Sad, Sad Pearl (Steven Universe), not very much though</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:21:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,293</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26029411</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PearlBringerOfChaos/pseuds/PearlBringerOfChaos</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ruby had asked a lot of questions during the war. She was so full of them when she first met Pearl. She finally gets the answers she had been looking for so many years the only problem she may not like what she hears.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Pearl &amp; Ruby (Steven Universe), Pearl &amp; Sapphire (Steven Universe), Pearl/Ruby/Sapphire (Steven Universe), Ruby/Sapphire (Steven Universe)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>If you can't answer can i ask anyway</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ruby wanted to spend time with the renegade Pearl. Wanted to see her when she was happy when she wants Sapphire to see the renegade Pearl the way she sees her wants them all to grow close.  That future seemed unlikely if she never survives the war. The next battle is hard because Ruby sees Pearl throw herself in front of Rose again. Something snaps then the brooding. Ruby plans and waits days go by weeks even before she makes her move.  Ruby doesn't want to drag Sapphire into it just yet afraid Sapphire will see something that will upset her. Not because Ruby feels guilty confused even about her feelings about the renegade Pearl. Ruby just doesn’t want to upset her. Sapphire is hard to shake but relents overtime before Ruby leaves their shared tent Sapphire whispers don’t trip as she passes. Confused Ruby waves her off telling her she will be careful. </p>
<p>Ruby waits behind Pearl’s tent living with emotions she doesn't understand yes, she was angry but why what does Rose’s Pearl mean to her. It doesn’t make any sense she loves Sapphire she does but the thought of the Pearl not around anymore makes Ruby's heartache. Ruby knows she's confused feels guilty for her feelings. Ruby head jerks up as Pearl walks away from Crazy Lace going to rest. Following Ruby soon is outside of Pearl's tent looking around, she waits to be confronted, but when Nothing happens barge's in. A blade slams out of the dark she catches it with her gauntlet snaping the blade.</p>
<p>    “Oh, it's Ruby I'm sorry you surprised me.”</p>
<p>    Ruby doesn't comment as she walks in and sits down on the ground. The quiet is overwhelming until it's broken by Ruby who whispers out.</p>
<p>     “What is wrong with you Pearl.”</p>
<p>    The look of surprise on Pearl's face makes Ruby hands clench. Overwhelming rage makes her silent as she looks at Pearl who doesn't say a word. Only looks at her sword forlornly as Ruby takes note with a little shame that pearl looks hurt that the sword has been snapped in half. They both are at a loss for a moment before Ruby starts again. </p>
<p> “What was that today.”</p>
<p>   “What was -.”</p>
<p>    “Don’t parrot back everything I say like you don't have a brain.”</p>
<p>     Pearl jerks insulted she turns to stare fully at Ruby. </p>
<p>     “I asked you a question.” </p>
<p>     “Well, I'm not answering with that tone you've got.” </p>
<p>    “I don't have a tone!” </p>
<p>    Jerking to cover her mouth waiting with bated breath for Rose to burst into the tent. Nothing happens Ruby lets out a gasp of relief. Pearl rolls her eyes unconcerned with Ruby’s display. Ruby points at Pearl with a determined glare.</p>
<p>“Why throw your life away like it doesn't matter tell me.”</p>
<p>     “It’s none of your concern Ruby.” </p>
<p>     “Yes, it is because you're driving me crazy.”</p>
<p>    “Why do you even care Ruby.”</p>
<p>    Finding herself at a loss Ruby blurts out.</p>
<p>   “Because we're friends, and I care.” </p>
<p>   Pearl's face contracts in confusion blinking she shaking her head.</p>
<p>  “When did we become friend’s Ruby you never even said hello before now and suddenly you care.” </p>
<p>    “I care!”</p>
<p>    “When have you ever cared the only gems, who care about me is Rose, and Garnet I don't even know you!”</p>
<p>     Ruby blinks in shock but she feels like she known Pearl. The last couple of years flash past rubies eyes in perfect clarity she knows what she likes to drink her favorite music. Ruby whines in surprise she doesn’t these are Garnet's memories. These are a mix of Garnet's feelings and Ruby’s who only wants to confront her about her health, and Garnet who was too shy to confront her crush. Who had left the job to Ruby to convince Pearl to care about herself Ruby suddenly has the urge to hit her head against the floor in frustration.</p>
<p>     “You love tea.”</p>
<p>      “Anyone could know that everyone knows that.”</p>
<p>     “You love nature even though the chaos of it drives you crazy.”</p>
<p>    “Anyone.”</p>
<p>     “You don't like to eat because of a bad memory that haunts you.”</p>
<p>    “I only told Garnet that.”              </p>
<p> Pearl looks conflicted as she looks at Ruby.</p>
<p>    “Garnet?”</p>
<p>     “No, I'm Ruby but I have some of her memories but not her sorry.”</p>
<p>    Pearl looks confused she can practically feel Pearl's brain strain to understand what was happening. Ruby puts her hand out worried what if she hates Ruby for not being Garnet.</p>
<p>“So, let's start over my name is Ruby what's yours.”</p>
<p>    “Ruby it's nice to meet you my names, Pearl.” </p>
<p>      They shake hands the tension in the room break's soon there both laughing. With the tension in the room gone, they both start to laugh quieting down ruby can't help herself she asks again quietly.</p>
<p>    “Why do you throw your life away.” </p>
<p>The quiet is more telling than either of them realize looking up ruby sees that Pearl's hand has drifted to her mouth blinking she puts it down.</p>
<p>  “Don’t you think that's a little personal.” </p>
<p> “Yeah, but we're friends know you can tell me why do you throw your life away tell me please I want to know.”  </p>
<p>“I don't think I can Ruby.”</p>
<p>“Why.”</p>
<p>“Because I can’t I promi- look all you need to know is that I protect Ros-that I protect P-Rose.”</p>
<p>She looks conflicted and frightened.</p>
<p>  “What hey!”</p>
<p>Pearl runs out of the tent. Ruby tries to follow but trips over her own feet falling on her face in the mud. Ruby looks up her at all the other gems she can feel herself heat up in embarrassment. Before earth gems would have laughed made fun of her another dumb Ruby hurting itself. She reminds herself that the earth was different. Everyone looked worried wasn’t that strange. Blinking so caught up in her thoughts she finally notices the hand on her back-rubbing circles. Looking up she sees that it is Sapphire who is comforting her ruby similes weakly </p>
<p>“I warned you not to trip.”</p>
<p>Ruby will always remember that day. It had been the first time she had suspected that something was wrong. It had been years since then war had changed them so many things had changed them all. Sitting next to Pearl watching the campfire she had made. It was cold out they were supposed to be camping. Somehow things had turned sour when Amethyst had made a withering comment about Rose. Ironically, Pearl had stayed quiet which had brought more attention to her than if she had screamed. She just stared into the flames of the fire so quiet that it had been unnerving. Everyone had gone to bed hours ago just to escape the eerie tension it was still unnerving Pearl finally blinks leaning into Ruby. When she speaks her voice is quiet almost broken sounding. </p>
<p>“Sometimes when I’m alone I think that too.”</p>
<p>Sapphire choose that moment to choke on her tea. </p>
<p>“I loved her I think.”</p>
<p>“What are you talking about Pearl.”</p>
<p>“Rose I mean I think I loved her but she hurt me so utterly that sometimes I wake up at night screaming. I look at scars that she gave me, and I wonder if it was real, if it was or love that kept us together or if it existed because white diamond forced us together when I think like that I get depressed.”</p>
<p>Ruby asks a question she had wanted an answer to for such a long time. </p>
<p>“Why did you throw your life away pearl?” </p>
<p>“Because she had asked me too.” </p>
<p>Sapphire's voice is hoarse with rage her hands are clenched as she speaks. </p>
<p>“You mean because you were ordered to.” </p>
<p>The most telling thing Pearl can say is nothing at all the silence is all the answer they need.</p>
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